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HAPPY BIRTHDAY MOM~~~!

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We can go to the tropics
Sip pina coladas
Shorty I could take you there

Or we can go to the slums
Where killers get hung
Shorty I could take you there
You know I could take you there.

AS long as you're with me,
Baby you'll be all right
I'm known in the ghetto
Just stay by my side

Or we can go to slum
Or to paradise
It's up to you babe, it's whatever you like.

I am still sick. And it sucks. Sudafed and Mucinex are helping to keep me functional, so aside from getting too tired sometimes, I'm actually really ok. I hate constantly running a low fever, though, that's not very pleasant. And It's not such a good idea to stay up till 12 playing around, either. But in my defense, I couldn't really sleep well, given certain matters.

For the past couple days its been hit and miss whether my uncle is actually ok or not, he needed to go to the hospital - which in my family? Ok, if we bother taking you to the damn hospital, it's a big deal. I come from a family of medical army people, we're pretty resilient. I don't even go to the doctor for most normal things because of all the home remedies that mom knows. He fell off the stairs while having a seizure and hurt himself.

I won't go into the whole situation because it's stupid, but the point is he seems to be fine but there's probably something seriously wrong with him that no one is testing for. Poor reaction time on the whole right side of his body might mean the seizure fucked him up pretty good this time.

And --- augh I just got hit with a sudden desire to throw up and it's really overwhelming, shit. I've felt worse before but this is a little formidable at this point.

I know I'm bitching a lot but, fuck it, it's my journal.

Some other things happened, some good things might be coming through, but I don't feel like jinxing them. I apparently jinx shit by opening my stupid mouth, it seems.

Does.... Does anyone want to help me write out my zombie game specifics? Like ... Actually sit and actively ask me questions and help me sort out things? I need someone for that stuff and I need to set aside specific time for it. I still can't decide if it's going to be on IJ or LJ.

I want to get this game up and running in a relatively quick amount of time, but the graphics are where I run into trouble.

Anyway.

Specifics tomorrow, gym in three hours.

urgh.

Also. I've played rape scenes, I've done abortion, I've done horrible, horrible things in rp, but of all the things to really get to me, it's Kaworu hating Akito. What the hell is wrong with me? I'm really not even sure at this point. I'm also the one who wants my layout to be Nariko and Rind so, there's that.

I'm going to sleep now.

My girlfriend said to identify what keeps me from (basically) feeling apathetic and disconnected. Well, that's pretty easy, anything that keeps me away from reality for a little while makes me feel better and more like myself. It's easier to role play for a little while, and then be able to offer advice, than it is to offer the advice first. I always feel so bad about that, but really it's just the state I'm in.

I'm rediscovering my games, and since I'm here by myself all the time and really don't have much to do when no one is around, or in the early mornings, I'm just going to make a list of games I can cycle through when I get bored. I still haven't finished P3 (though I know how it ends), and I haven't gotten too far on P4 either, those two and Half Life should keep me more than occupied. I'm also going to continue trying to make it through Okage. Even though that game is frustrating me a lot. Or I'll just cheat, either way.

My therapy is on the 19th, but mom made the executive decision to go with a therapist and psychiatrist who know of each other and work in the same building. So that means my psych is the undetermined one for now and hopefully mom will hear something by Monday.

Getting my car fixed this weekend, getting it inspected on Tuesday.

There was a lot more I wanted to say and it's not like I have a fear of saying it, I'm just too lazy. Also, I want to play Persona and play with Nyx.

I miss eating Dango with grandma in Japantown. But I hate to think of how wonderful that day was, and how he was there all alone, that whole time.

Whatever genius decided that it was a good idea to lock the back door from the outside so that I can't get to the dogs better not bitch to me about me not drying them off, because I'm not going out in the rain.

There is fucking absolutely nothing to do but chores, which is great. Augh. Excuse me while I go bash my head in. Possibly in tandem with 'Undone'.

Psych tomorrow. Still don't know when therapy is. Grhgh.

At least I got my paid account back.

Mom's home.

Psych on friday.

Therapy undetermined.

Not much longer.

You can do it, Rin, you can do this.

Just do your best.

Breathe, meditate, refocus, push everybody away if you have to -- it's for their own good.

Yep.

Everything'll be fine.

Katie's post was awesome and epic and I will comment on it when I get back. I just ... Maybe driving will make me feel better. Forgot to take my abilify (...Again) and I'm not feeling too hot. Need to clear my head a little.

Despite how horrible she can be, I need Elizabeth back.

Have to react to get blow into fractions, oi. Accurate!

An important thing to know about Role Playing, I think is that when you want to take something farther but don't have the opportunity, you better know how to write it on your own. Or else you're going to end up like Rin and be a junkie.

Well, Rin is trying to fix this problem :l she's not sure she's doing so well. But whatever. Like clockwork it happens every month and that's only proof that none of it is real.

Mom is gone for most of the week leaving me here alone with Eli. Someone save me. But I'm going to try and be nice and (gasp) be awake in the day and see if he wants to go see a movie together.

I don't know what to do about work. I've seriously considered just not showing up there at all until Kingdom Hearts comes out and then when Assassin's Creed does. I don't know what to do and I'm not sure I care anymore.

I'm off to try and write swap!Akito/Kazu.

Jeni needs to hurry ):

Taking ideas for a game, possibly private or widespread, who likes cyberpunk and possibly wants to create a game with me? I'm thinking maybe only a couple people, because I don't have the energy for a full blown multifandom game unless the concept is really well thought out and I know I'll have multiple people backing me.

More info, but right now, are you interested just because I want you to be :P?

So Nyx is the goddess of the night, standing near or at the beginning of life and death.

Hecate is the 'crone goddess', the maiden, mother, and crone.

And Inari is the god of fertility.






...



I. Why the theme.

Two of my gods aren't necessarily evil and one of them deals with giving birth. I swear sometimes the universe wants to me to be a homemaker.

-Get everything needed off the Junk heap (done)
-Give Ran to Eli so he can wipe it (Done)
-Post to techno_witch (done)
-Post to a_cooking_gamer (done)
-Read Grimoire of A Green Witch
-Bitch out Mel, because, why not? She took Nero away, and my Namine is now officially dependent on Sora as a result.(Done, haha)
-Put stuff up on ebay for mom.

-Clean bathroom (Done)
-Do dishes
-Tape living room (This is apparently being done tomorrow)
-Transfer meds. (Done)
-Ritual (Done)
-Goddess/God research (Nyx, Hecate, Freya, Shiva, Inari) (Done)
-Rework my projects page on somnus_nemoris (Done)
-... Get on Saku to make Shark graphic because now I really need it >_>. (Done)

nereide_rp got back to me and they want me to do a revision on Namine's history, or more accurately they want me to expand on it. I'm guessing I'm supposed to talk about more than just CoM, to prove I know her canon, but my general rule is that if a place doesn't like my initial app, then they just aren't going to like me in general. But this place has a cool premise and they've got a Xion and Axel already there. I'm not sure what to do, opinions?

Also, joining Poseidon again proved to be a good move ♥? I love playing Namine and Bridget there, but I can't make Bridget stop missing Demyx, which is getting to me a bit. I'm not sure what to do. Possible solution to this, just need to talk to Katie or Nyx.

Jack and jill went up the hill

and then were swiftly murdered.

Whatever, goddamit, just whatever. This must be a sign of something.

In other related news, leaving for ID camp soon, have to pack.

Need to have Lisa make me a hiatus image~

Moving soon too, studying tomorrow, doing something with elizabeth on the fourth, time is going by too quickly.

Errrrrrm.

Staying home was probably a bad decision.

Trying to move in with Elizabeth, trying to figure out college stuff, not going so well.

Anyone feel like helping?

This is Saku and Char, posting for Rin. She has had an accident today, involving a hard blow to her head. At six am, she will be waking Eli up for him to take her to the hospital. (Please do not try to get her to do this sooner, Saku, Eli and Rin all talked it through, and that was the final compromise on the situation. Nothing else can be managed.)

Until then, she needs people to keep an eye on her, keep her talking, so that we can track if she gets worse, if she gets better, and generally keep her on the ball. We're going to try to stay up as late as possible, but if one or both of us falls asleep, there needs to be a backup. If you can stick around, please message her (and comment here, so we know there's people around).

Thank you, and when there is more update on the situation, either she or Saku will post more about it.